My Precious Little World !!!

Precious, you are my memories;

Those broken pieces of past

Let me savor you in me; coz’

Without you, my world is meaningless!

Some things never change, no matter how many years pass; some memories will always stay intact. Time is a bad healer; when you miss the people you are grown up with, the people you lost, even their pics look so vivid, like it was taken yesterday. Looking back the ones I miss the most would be R & V, my best friends, who make my little world.

I don’t know how one react to the loss of their best friends, the ones who stand by you at each step of life, backing you without any reason, your secret keepers, an undeniable part of your family. I miss them almost every day, but the most, when I’m confused and wishing someone sorted it, a good listener without yelling or giving a weird expression. It’s ultimately a feeling that someone is there, understanding and supporting you for anything and everything. It’s not like I don’t have great friends, I do, but somehow they could never replace my musketeers. That’s how we were known, three devilish kids of the block. When I meet my old friends, school friends, they wonder how to talk about the good old days without mentioning R & V. I see Papa purposefully avoiding talks about anything which will remind of them, like time is going to heal everything.

I have moved on in life, with new friends, new place, a gala time relishing making new memories and moments, but at the end of the day, looking back, its their faces that I remember the most. Like you haven’t really gone a long way, you still have some of your past left with you. R used to be my morning alarm, calling up every day in the morning to wake me up and to ensure that I started my chores. I have two alarms now to wake me up in the morning; still I get up late thinking 'why that idiot didn’t call'. Realizations always click a bit low. I don’t want to get rid of those memories; that will remain to be my precious little world. Life is different, but they do live in one corner of my heart, sealed to others!

Welcome to Namma Bengaluru..!!!

We Indians have a bad habit, We don’t respond, till we are victims of things ourselves. Bangalore, aka Bengaluru my second home is close to my heart but then I come across incidents where I wonder, has the city really accepted me or am I still a stranger here? No offense to anyone, I’m just expressing my pain and frustration that anything can happen here and people will remain mute spectators and walk away. 

Saturday I was on my way back from a lunch outing with one of my colleague. Bangalore with its infamous traffic blocks, as usual we were stuck in a jam in Jayanagar. The car ahead of us jammed a sudden brake and naturally we had to screech to a halt and of course for the vehicles coming behind us in inch difference. Our car got bumped and we were sure that something hit ours. Naturally we got out to check whether there is any dent/damage. What we didn't expect was some stranger pulling my colleagues collar while I had no clue what’s going on.

It seems that because we pulled the break, they hit our car and one bikewala hit theirs.Now they wanted us to pay compensation. It took us a while for the realization to dawn that even if someone is hitting My car, I’m the one supposed to pay compensation. I thought are they had lost it what they are asking. But their behavior was far away from humane. With four Gundas around, we wondered what to do, we tried talking but went in vain, their threatening changed to manhandling my colleague. I called up the people I know, I called police, they asked us to come to police station immediately. But these Gundas didn’t allow going to police station, they just wanted money. Now their threatening style changed, If we take our car, they are gonna break it! All these while I didn’t see anyone coming forward with a helping hand. They could see a girl in the middle of all the fight, I saw curiousness in the bystanders faces like they are watching a movie. I realized that I can’t expect a helping hand. I called the police again to tell our situation, and was informed that someone will be reaching in 10mins. In the meanwhile, one of the family who was watching the entire incident came to our help. They told the mob that the fault is theirs and they hit us and we have done nothing wrong. The Gundas may have realized that they are not going to get any compensation; they took a big stone and came forward to break the car. We tried to stop from every side, my colleague was dragged away by two of them while the other two hit the car and broke the windows and then fled.

We have their Car number, we can recognize them anywhere, a case has been filed. What I don't understand is hasn’t human life got any value here. Is it like anyone can attack anyone for any reason or No reason. Do we have a system where by the time police reach us we could be safe? I'm worried, I thought at least in day light these kinds of things don’t happen. But I was so wrong.  The cars registration number is

KA 03 ME 6222 – Beware of them

I will go out again, but I will not forget this incident. Now I realize the necessity of learning Kannada. I May have handled the situation better, had I known Kannada. But does being humane got anything to do with what language you speak. Some of you will go through a similar situation or may come across. I hope you will “act” next time. I didn’t know whether to cry or beg at that point of time. Thinking now, I don't even know what was going in my mind. The moment I realized I won’t get a help, I hated the people, I hated the place. A request when something happens in front of you; React, Respond, Stop the Violence!

Reflections - Lost Mind!!!

The wait is finally over, gazing at the distant horizon
laughing at herself for the sheer folly;
As tears trickle down mocking at face
Trying to wipe out the last drop before it touches the cheek
Clueless as the world dead short in front of her!

She stared for a long time into the water. Seemed like the water will come up, embrace and console her that its all fine. Its all fine ! she exclaimed, not quite sure if her mind is following what she thinks. She had realized a long back that her mind had its own way of thinking which never followed what she wants. She wanted to be strong as if nothing really mattered, but her mind had other plans with its unusually rebellious mood swings, not quite sure to yell or to shout or just cry out as if its not easing anything.




Finally she looked at me and smiled, lets go! I tried to smile back, but failed miserably, it went somewhere without touching the eyes. I wanted to hug her tightly and whisper that I'm here and will be always. I wanted to take her in my arms and console, to take away those tears which was blurring her view. I was not sure, did she ever realize my existence, she never really cared I know. That’s all right, as long as I possessed her. I knew that at the end of the day she needed me, I was the one to give her peace. She looked at me and walked. I tried to stop but she was already in water, as the water embraced her, I couldn't see her or myself as I went along with her drowning, I don’t want to go, I tried to cry, but my tears were stopped by her smile, her mind is playing again with me, but this time she took me along her way towards the ever ending sleep. Finally we are at peace forever as the mind stopped playing.

Random Thoughts - On a Rainy Day..!!

 

New Year, New Resolutions, Promises to finish all those you have started yet left half way, yet it also brings the untainted memories of childhood. Was that the winter rain outside, pouring mercilessly trying to come inside my glass door or was it because of the Kishore Kumar voice melodiously and melancholy coming out of the radio or was that the hot cup of coffee on a rainy day which did the trick!! Yes, I do miss, my childhood days, my celebrations at home, playing around grandpa and those garam onion pakodas of my granny, its all running behind with past leaving me ahead.

I'm back to one of my somber moods missing my childhood days and pals wondering what I’m doing in this city.

Memories brings again those days of innocence where rain meant unending play in water and getting soaked, where celebration meant sharing one piece of cake among ten people, where impossible meant just another word from dictionary you didn’t want to pronounce., where fight meant your little arguments to sit on your favorite chair, where friends meant forever unconditionally, where Love was Papa's share of extra candy than others, where care was moms way of tugging you up and giving goodnight kiss, where grandpa was the best story teller than today’s thriller movie, where fashion was following Mama's style, where tears were meant to bring dear ones closer, Where life was lived with each moment cherished. I wonder did I left all that in the past
Wish I could just push a button to go back and pause there forever..!

I’m back after a long sabbatical, I guess everyone needs a break, but I feel more alive here penning down the thoughts. I missed you all and I know that I have a lot to catch up…

Happy New Year to All, lets live every moment of your life full, so that looking back, you don’t have a moment to regret..!!

Bad Day at Its Worse..!

Have you ever been in a position where suddenly whatever you does goes wrong???

Like if you were thinking of the devil and the devil is ACTUALLY in front of you? Like you got up late, to know that electricity is gone and you dont have an ironed dress. That  while bathing suddenly the water starts coming feebly. You went for breakfast, its already finished.You missed your bus, the auto guy charged double, got stuck in traffic and you were late to office just by one minute and have to sit another 8 hrs extra the whole week to compensate the same.Then once you start your work, its not happening the way you wanted and you have to literally roam around up and down to make it happen only to be known that the network is down and your most important work is stuck.You end up spending your extra hours in office while all your friends are away watching your favorite long awaited blockbuster movie. The pinch of salt might be that one of your friend calls up to ask, can i take your ticket if you are not going, you ends up saying "YES", though all you wanna do exactly is strangle her.

You come back home in an auto after hours of waiting just to see that you are not finding your key and your roomie is also gone for the movie. Begging the owner and then taking the duplicate key, finally entering your room to take the fresh air, you will be wondering where the hell have everyone been gone, when i'm in such a mess; you can understand that you just applied Murphy's law in every possible practical way and survived. Well  while just thinking about negative, you get a call from home, saying something gone terrible bad... It all happens on a BAD DAY!


Tested and survived successfully

Personal Advice - Dont try yourself as you may end up in the coffin

On a good note - at home for this onam, though not having a holiday. Actually glad for coming, coz this one is one of the most memorable EVER..!

 Belated Happy Onam to ALL :)