January 30, 2012

Reflections - Lost Mind!!!

The wait is finally over, gazing at the distant horizon
laughing at herself for the sheer folly;
As tears trickle down mocking at face
Trying to wipe out the last drop before it touches the cheek
Clueless as the world dead short in front of her!

She stared for a long time into the water. Seemed like the water will come up, embrace and console her that its all fine. Its all fine ! she exclaimed, not quite sure if her mind is following what she thinks. She had realized a long back that her mind had its own way of thinking which never followed what she wants. She wanted to be strong as if nothing really mattered, but her mind had other plans with its unusually rebellious mood swings, not quite sure to yell or to shout or just cry out as if its not easing anything.

Finally she looked at me and smiled, lets go! I tried to smile back, but failed miserably, it went somewhere without touching the eyes. I wanted to hug her tightly and whisper that I'm here and will be always. I wanted to take her in my arms and console, to take away those tears which was blurring her view. I was not sure, did she ever realize my existence, she never really cared I know. That’s all right, as long as I possessed her. I knew that at the end of the day she needed me, I was the one to give her peace. She looked at me and walked. I tried to stop but she was already in water, as the water embraced her, I couldn't see her or myself as I went along with her drowning, I don’t want to go, I tried to cry, but my tears were stopped by her smile, her mind is playing again with me, but this time she took me along her way towards the ever ending sleep. Finally we are at peace forever as the mind stopped playing.

January 14, 2012

Random Thoughts - On a Rainy Day..!!

New Year, New Resolutions, Promises to finish all those you have started yet left half way, yet it also brings the untainted memories of childhood. Was that the winter rain outside, pouring mercilessly trying to come inside my glass door or was it because of the Kishore Kumar voice melodiously and melancholy coming out of the radio or was that the hot cup of coffee on a rainy day which did the trick!! Yes, I do miss, my childhood days, my celebrations at home, playing around grandpa and those garam onion pakodas of my granny, its all running behind with past leaving me ahead.

I'm back to one of my somber moods missing my childhood days and pals wondering what I’m doing in this city.

Memories brings again those days of innocence where rain meant unending play in water and getting soaked, where celebration meant sharing one piece of cake among ten people, where impossible meant just another word from dictionary you didn’t want to pronounce., where fight meant your little arguments to sit on your favorite chair, where friends meant forever unconditionally, where Love was Papa's share of extra candy than others, where care was moms way of tugging you up and giving goodnight kiss, where grandpa was the best story teller than today’s thriller movie, where fashion was following Mama's style, where tears were meant to bring dear ones closer, Where life was lived with each moment cherished. I wonder did I left all that in the past
Wish I could just push a button to go back and pause there forever..!

I’m back after a long sabbatical, I guess everyone needs a break, but I feel more alive here penning down the thoughts. I missed you all and I know that I have a lot to catch up…

Happy New Year to All, lets live every moment of your life full, so that looking back, you don’t have a moment to regret..!!