As My City Burns....

I am alive, I cant still believe that I am among those lucky ones who missed the whole incident by mere luck. But like any other Mumbai resident, it will take time for me to come in terms that Mumbai had to face such a terror.

I love this city like any other person from outside and this city has absorbed me with my culture and values. This is the speciality of Mumbai and you wont find this in any other city in india. I was never scared to go out, whether its day or night, bcoz i knew in Mumbai I am safe, nothi9ng is gonna harm me here. But now i have to think twice.

Our spirits are high and our life will be normal again soon, though the marks will be there forever. And if anyone in the world think, this will take our spirits , they are wrong, bcoz we are more united now than ever. But then every time i go to CST, i will think in horror, about the Nov 26th. Everytime I see Taj, i will remember what all incidents this monument have witnessed and survived.

While i write this, the entire thing was almost over except in Taj. I was wondering how well planned these people are, and the face of terror (in black t-shirt) was shocking making me think this small boy is able to do this all. How so much rage got into such an young boy. The fighting was still on in Taj with the terrorist showing no sign to surrender. Well all i pray is noone should have such an experiance which all those hostages and their families had to go through.

Lets not talk about the intelligence failure and Why the govt took so much time to call the NSG?

I am still wondering why the hell our govt is so scared to take strong actions against the incidents. Are they too weak ? I dont think our PM's small speech is an answer for all the questions. Just wondering when will they realise, they need to work on terrorism more aggresively with more actions rather than wasting their time in giving speeches.

The commandos did a great job and thats all that matters though they lost some of their best people. May the souls of those died in this tragedy may rest in peace.

She...!

She was one of those girls, who sticked to the good old principles and rules which she learned as a child. She was not following them blindly, she had the option to choose what she like, but she just believed that what she does is right. She was never scared of cities as she was born in one. But then when she was given the choice of working in a metro or staying at home. She decided to choose the former, though she didnt liked the crowded big metros. Bcoz she thought, to be successfull, one should be independent, and staying with parents will never really make you independent to face the world.


Her relatives told her, "you are doing a mistake". She just corrected them by saying " not as long as i believe my decision is the right one". Later Her relatives had to tell Her parents "your daughter choose the best".

But staying alone in a metro was not easy. It was always the hard way. She knew how to say "NO" better than any one else, and she was least bothered what effects it might have. She was not really fascinated by the fast life and the freedom and security , the new city gave. She didnt wanted to try any thing new just bcoz her friend told her, "You should experiance everything". She thought thats the best way to convince one's temptations by putting it "experiance".


I have seen HER in many places. While travelling in train, She used to ask my how to go to a particular place. She used to see new things with that fascinating eyes. She asked me whats "enigma" and "poison", when i asked Her, "You wanna come with us?". I have seen her in coffee shops, sipping a hot cup of coffee and talking to her father on "her experiances in the new place". I have seen her in my office with that rare passion to do the work. I never saw her crying, nor i saw her getting down for the worst things possible. She was calm most of the time and she was not bothered about others around her. She knew that, She is there alone in a city, away from her parents, to achieve something. She knew that she will never dissappoint her parents. I have seen those ambitious innocent eyes and I realised I was like Her once. The only difference is that i just forgot my principles and she hold on to it.

Of late.. I tell U..!

I just finished reading one of the beautiful books i have read in my entire life, "Tuesday with morris". Though many of my friends told me that its a great book, not untill today, untill i finished it, i could say, yes! THEY ARE RIGHT. I dont know whether this book taught me something. But yes, it gives me a chance to think again, about all those things and moments which i better like to keep alone to me. May be it give me chance to look back and see how my life is and how miserable i feel at times for the way I am now, and at the same time how I become such a hard hearted, practical, rational fellow.

It is good as long as you accept the way you are. But things get bad, when you see someone, and wish, it would have been nice if i were able to express like them. I remembered my friend which i lost during my school days. I also realised how much it still hurts .I should have cried that time and told my father that i am feeling very bad. When i lost a friend again, it didnt hurt, i just knew that she will be happy up there. But now i realise, i should have been there with her sharing her pain. I didnt, coz i was scared of cancer, i was scared of seeing people die and i was scared of people going away from me. So i just ignored it as if she didnt matter to me.

I didnt allow people to be too caring to me, as i felt i wont be the same to them. I didnt made much close friends as i was scared one day they will leave me. I didnt allow people to come close to me as i thought they will hurt me one day. I was rude to people who loved me, coz i was scared that their love will fade away one day. I never shared my sorrows as i thought world doesnt really care for it. I stopped doing all the things i loved bcoz, i didnt want to get habitual to it, to realise one day that i have to leave it. I stopped expressing my feelings, when people called me emotional.Finally i just stopped crying bcoz, i just realised its nothing more than a drop of water.

But then today, reading a book just made me think again that I am Wrong. Well i cant curse the book for making me feel that way. My best friend told me that she liked the other way around. My mother wanted me to talk to her more. A wellwisher wished atleast once i cried whole heartedly.Another friend asked me whether i have ever really loved someone. Well too many questions. But i think, i really think, i should be a better person. I should express myself. Its just that i needed a book to realise it.

Unity

I know Indians are very patriotic people and they have shown their unity and togetherness during many hard times. But being a Y-Generation representative I always thought that these days, the companies and 'MANY GREAT PEOPLE' have commercialised this unity. But many instances including my visits to movie halls have changed my opinion on that, making me proud that I am an Indian.

I dont know who introduced this idea, but playing our national anthem before a movie starts, turned out to be really successful one, as every person is truely responding to it. As the anthem 'Jana Gana Mana' starts, i have seen each every person in the hall, standing up and giving full respect to the anthem. I saw faith in each person movements, and the emotion of being an indian, whether its knowingly or unknowingly. But dont you think these are some of those small movements, which makes us proud of being together to be 'Indians. :) Well I am.