December 24, 2008

My Prayer for You....!!!

Am i late, i hope not, but then i dont always get lucky to do the things i really want to do. I hope i am not getting selfish, that i forgot to do the things i need to do. My grandpa called me today, i was talking to him after pretty long time. I know he called me for no particular reason, but just to hear my voice, but then in the middle i could feel it, that he is getting emotional, even i was feeling like going to my hometown and meet him. God, its going to be such a long time since we last see each other. I know he is getting very old, my father told me once that he is having problem in walking, but then i dont know how i will react to it, when i meet him, for he was always my strong man.


I was more attached to my grandpa, may be bcoz, he was the one who was there all the time during my childhood days. Being a teacher, he was strict, his kids were always scared of him, i never heard anyone talking in a loud voice in front of him. My case was different, i always saw the other side of his life, as a loving & caring grandpa, he was more like a friend who played with me, told short stories and poems, taught me those sanskrit chants and verses which others thought tough. When i went for my higher studies, he didnt get emotional, he was sure that i will be there for onam and vishu and waited for me with new dresses for me. I always tried to make sure i was there, but then i guess i broke that also.I know he may be hurt, but he may not show . He never really showed his emotional part, may be thats why my father is also that way. But then i saw tears in his eyes once, just once, when grandma left him. But everyone was too busy controlling their emotions that noone really noticed it.



Whenever i went to my tharavadu to see my grandpa, there was always a visitor, sometimes his students, his old collegues, relatives, people who wanted to get a piece of advise from him. He was always curious to know about whats happening in my life, how my studies are going etc.There was his magnificent personality which i always admired, i always looked at him, just the way my father did, coz we knew we didnt need any other role mode. When i go home, i used to make sure that i will go to my grandpa's house also. But then many times i was not able to, and it end up as mere phone calls. Many a times i felt that its not just any call, it was like he was waiting for those calls, eager to hear my voice, happy to know about all the good things happening in my life. He was curious to hear about the places i visited, the friends that i made.
When we finish talking, he used to remind me, "dont forget to call me", and i always used to assure him that i will call him again, but then that assurence in words didnt always get into actions.



Its going to be more than 2yrs since i saw him last, i always wanted to go and meet him, but never really get those holidays. In between lot of things happened, i got my job and got more busier than i expected, changing places became an ordinary thing that , it didnt amuse me anymore. Graudually the calls reduced to those made on onam and vishu, still he reminded me "dont forget to call me".But i forgot, and today he gave a call to remind me, that he is still there expecting my calls, wanting to hear my voice, my stories, my problems, my success, everything. His voice was not smooth as usual, it was shaking at times, he repeated his words again and again. Emotions were flowing, i think at one point he cried, bcoz none of his grand children were nearby, well even i was not nearby.


I promised him that i will be coming to see him before vishu. But he was doubtful, he just told me he is weak, but i understood what he exactly meant. I never heard him saying that before, i wanted to cry, bcoz, i dont want him to be that way, i dont want to think that he is getting old. This time when i go home, i want to meet my grandpa, its not bcoz of the promise that i made, but its bcoz, i know someone is eagerly waiting , looking outside, my tharavadu, seeing whether any car is coming that way, with those familier faces of his grand children in memory. And i dont want to dissappoint him. Its not just a hope, its a prayer i am having, i hope i wont be late....

9 comments:

Srishti said...

That was a veryy touching post dear, i still remember seeing your muthashan, full of life.

Merry Christmas Dear...

usha said...

I lost my grandmother this year... and I remember thinking of all those times when I could have gone visiting her.. and wishing I had made it..

DestinY UnrevealedD said...

I couldnot believe from yr post that u can be so much expressive.....huh!!!good to see another side of you,girl..yr dadu is really very sweet..pls dont be late this time...!!

All Talk and No Action said...

bang on target !
I never saw my maternal n paterna grandpas...
I lost my daadi while I was 3 and Naani while i was 13...
Hence I never really understood the significance of having grandparents...

I would suggest u book the first available tickets and meet ur Grandpa...give him a surprise visit ! He shall cherish your visit 4ever...
Don't u worry about work n all....work is a means to good life. It shouldn't hamper "Living" !

Dhanya said...

An emotional post.. Please make it fast as many things make sense only if done on time..

Praveen said...

that writeup really touched me a lot..
do meet ur grandpa at the earliest...

Devil Incarnate said...

@srishti
he still full of life dear, though he is weak these dayz.
@Usha
Losing someone is alwayz a painful part, i lost of my grandmom's, its jst that i dnt want that to happen when it come to my grandpa.
@destiny
I knew dear, that i am nt that expressive, bt there r somethings that r very close to my heart that i can never deny, i guess u slowly seeing my other side..
@altalk
even i want to that yaar, booking the 1st ticket to home, bt i am in a project nw, which doesnt allow me and my everday goes, thinking whn i wil go back to meet my ppl
@ dhanya
ys even thats my prayer, that i shouldnt b late, and then regret my entire life for that.
@praveen
ys, i am thinking abt a surprice visit, though i knw my visits wil alwayz surprice me..

Ashwin said...

wonderful post..dont worry..u 'll meet ur grandpa soon..and have a lot more memories to cherish about..

Usha Pisharody said...

You should make that visit, if I may say so... and get your blessings and vishukainettam from him:) He'd be so proud of you.. :)

And well, I do know how it is with kids when they leave home:) Calling parents is not very easy, then what about the grandparents ?? :)

But make that call more often, as I know you must be doing now :)

This was a moving post.