Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

May 2, 2013

My World of Illusions !!

 
Oh! How incredible this life is, the magical journey of illusions
Like a dream, you give me the world in one hand for a moment
To steal it all away then for a life time; is it fair?
But I may never ask, for it was always you who have won
I’m just a fool, looking at the chimera with wonder eyes
Had I known it would break into pieces with my touch
I would have stayed away & pinch myself for the reverie
It was all so real, how have I know the difference
As I stumble upon the shattered crumbs of my once perfect world
Powerless to move about to take back & mend
Will you ever bestow me a chance to win?
To enthral in my dreams as I see it now
Not to be deceived by the world of illusions!
 
 
Pic Courtesy widjita.deviantart.com

December 12, 2012

I Have Learned.. One More Year Acheived !


I have learned that…
Prayers are always answered, though not always the way you want.
Life is intriguingly tough & surprisingly ruthless, but it will never leave you, so long as you hold on.
We always have choices though we end up taking the wrong ones, while craving for the other.
Every person you meet will teach you a lesson, its up to you, to learn from the pain & heartbreaks, or to learn the passion & compassion.
Ignoring a person doesn’t mean, they don’t exist, in actual you might be thinking more than often.
Its easy to ignore your emotions, till you meet someone who can read your silence.
Laughing out is easy; crying from heart is a messy business.
Future is scary, but Your Today was Your Yesterday’s Future.
Special days & special times won’t always come, though we wish happy times come more often & sad times end like a bad dream. The world celebrated & talked about 12.12.12 with all its élan. While I celebrated my b'day with my small bunch of special people. Looking back I don’t see much regrets,  Did learn to take life as it comes? I would miss some people, but guess God had decided better plans for them with him. Looking forward I would need to learn to explain what I feel and listen to my heart, I dont see that happening in the near future though I promised someone that I would work on it. Christmas & New Year is round the corner, the best days of the season, it can never go wrong :)

Picture Courtesy - Deviantart.com

November 25, 2012

Times Ahead, Without You !




Times of days lost & nights blue
When life seems falling apart
 With the roads derailed taking dead ends
I stay, looking ahead at the distant horizon
Wondering, was I meant to go this way
Wishing you was there to walk beside
Wouldn’t have mattered the life & path
As long as you were there till the end!

Silence replaces once long conversations
When lot have been left unsaid, unheard
When pain becomes just another emotion
As tears wonder to drop down or to dry out
I wish, the time had turned once for me
So I could go back & erase those moments
When life had left me alone taking you away
Wishing I had stopped, but my voice confined, heard by none!


Looking back i realize i loved certain places not for their beauty & spirit but for the reason that they give me the best people i know, if i miss something, its their absence the most! Many of them have left behind with time leaving memories for a life time...
The last person i had with the colorful memories of my childhood was my Grandpa, i lost him last month. Life goes on with new people, new places, but i do feel most of the times that I'm at the wrong place with the wrong people. People would always be missed, though at times you try to ignore the pinch & pain!

May 21, 2012

Musings of a Solitary Soul !!!


Morning rays peeks in evoking me, waking me up
ending my long deep slumber and dreams
as I slowly realize that its just me and my solitude
You have been long gone, leaving the memories-
of a life behind, on a journey of no return
I walk around looking for you, hoping to 
see you play hide n seek, unable find
wishing you unveil yourself yelling my name-
like always as look in astonishment trying to touch you
Silence scares as the once grin face on the portrait-
looking impassive at my teary face; I know
there will be no come back, as the numbness
pull me back to the slumber, I wish as I close my eyes
never to wake up again to see the musings of a solitary soul!


PS: Sometimes long journeys invoke lot of thoughts in your mind, thankfully all ends well :)

Photo Courtesy - deviantart.com

April 17, 2012

Color My Life...




Color my world with your love n spread the smile
Color my dreams, let it spread the wings and fly high
Color my hopes, let it sail beyond the seven seas
Color my memories, let me cherish them for eternity
Color my tears, let them drop down on the rainbow
Color me blue, red or pink, lets forget the black n white!



 Childhood days are the best, carefree, worry-free life with No deadlines. As a child, bad day for me meant sharing my chocolate with others or allowing brother to lie down in papa's lap. Lives have changed, you have grown up, but when you start your conversation by saying “When I was a kid”, you know, you are getting old and missing your childhood days. But what we lost the most is the innocence which got lost in this journey of transition.


Friends, You made my days perfect! Without you, I don’t think I would have done all those things, thinking now I know 'How crazy that was'. I can very well understand those deadly looks on parents and teachers. I may not break the traffic rules again, I may not jump the wall to watch movies, I will never again send rockets in class rooms or I will never try to give food to a bear using my hands, I will never ride around the city in rain to get completely drenched. Those are days which belong to Us not Me.


Some of the best moments in life are unexpected and simple. Be it playing in mud on a rainy day or the small puppy you got from you best friend as a birthday gift  or meeting someone you had crush on accidentally or when you hear the news that you gonna be a mausi! Life is amazingly beautiful and painfully real.


One of the most precious relations made by God! I believe in angels from the day I opened my eyes, the day I saw my mom. I do wonder at times, how God made someone so patient, loving and forgiving. I know no matter what, at the end of the day, she will be there always a call away or a touch away! The most important thing is, you know that there is someone who completely trust and believes in you.


 One of the beautiful expressions of nature! Is there anyone who don’t like rain. I love rain, the monsoon rain specially, its beautiful, fierce, but end like a soft breeze touching you deep down. Have you ever noticed the nature after rain? For me rain brings back my childhood days, sitting in the courtyard watching rain and then trying to play in rain without allowing granny to catch me, making paper boats and playing with my cousins in water. I know some of you would be worried about the dirt. Trust me, once you are in rain, you wont even think about it, and the best part is that it got amazing healing powers :)



 My first & best friend, my strength and what not! When you are known to be a Papa's gal, you know how much you are inspired by him trying hard to follow his footsteps. He is the only person around, where I don’t want to grow up, always want remain as his little girl, who walks holding his hands and still do when he is around. What I remember the most will be my initial school days where he used to sit with me morning till evening in the class, coz he didn’t wanted to see my tears. Years have gone by, but nothing have changed much when I see him waiting for me at home eagerly. I’m glad I’m Pa's best girl, guess that’s what every daughter wants to be.

 

Life is like a roller coaster with its ups & downs, turns & twists, but it’s a beautiful journey where each day brings its own share of excitement and surprises. There is a pinch of salt, there are moments of hurt, but then you also learn to laugh. Is it the life itself, or is it the people around that make life so special!


Disclaimer - All the pics are taken from deviantart.com

April 30, 2011

I Still Miss ..

Something’s never change, I used to think that as I get old my choices will change, I will be a different person. But then life has changed a lot, people have changed for better and worse. Sometimes I myself am not able to relate to what is happening around. Then I see that I haven’t moved on in many things, in my life...


Time is ticking, as I run to keep pace
Waking up every day at the same lane
Unsure where to move wishing
You hold my hand and show the way
But then time had left you behind long back
What am I waiting for, living in your memories?

That small little girl wearing frilled frock roaming around grandpa’s house without listening to her mom, with astonishing eyes is still a surprise for me. I wonder how she managed to roam alone in trees, wasn’t she scared of stranger, and well that girl is totally anonymous to me. How she managed to convince grandpa to make her little wood-house is still a secret. How she remembered each story told by grandpa, when I can’t even remember the last call on my mobile phone. When I look at the old and fragile person reading newspaper in the veranda, I wondered where I met this person before. I don’t know him, while my eyes searched for the one who used to eagerly wait for my visit with all the things that I like.
I know I have added more than thousand friends in my friends circle from the time I got my first friend. But there is not even a single day which goes by without thinking of him, someone I lost on the memory line by the end of school days. May be it was not just about doing homework together or playing together or going to school. Guess best friends were meant forever even in their absence. 

I don’t have a big memory of my kochu muthashan, my grandpa’s younger brother who never got married, who used to stay with my grandpa. But I do remember his big commanding voice; everyone was scared of that till he got a stroke and was bed ridden for another 2-3 months before his death.  He was very fond of me and when I went to grandpa’s place on that year’s vishu he wanted me to have lunch with him, but me being a kid, forgot about the whole thing and had lunch with my other cousins and went one playing with them. He had a stroke in the same evening and was rush to the hospital. He didn’t talk much on the way, than asking about me. I never breached a promise to anyone after that, just wish had I known that, that will be the last time I will see him.

My secret keeper, there is a reason why he got that name, he used to have this telepathic thing to know exactly what I’m thinking, let it be something good or bad, happy or sad, he knew it all. It didn’t matter whether it was about my little crush or some fight. Something he got just by listening to my voice, I thought he will be there for ever. R, V and me, quite known us three musketeers, during our last get-together, I was wondering about the busy schedules and how difficult it is getting to catch up with each other. He told me to chill, that he will be watching me. Now I know that no matter how much busy day it is I would always find time to talk to him. He will definitely be watching me, what I miss are those calls when I was sad, when I had a rough day, when I had happy news to share.

March 5, 2011

Games We Play..


Crazy, they call; we are, now and always
Your philosophies and my principles
Your silence and my confusions
For all the unreciprocated questions and those clumsy answers
The distance and times we have lost keeping away
Just to realize that we were so close-
But so busy searching for our own soul
Enough all the arguments; for I’m no more scared
To speak my heart and to make peace
I seldom believed in serendipity till you came my way
But now I know the games life play, between you and me.

December 8, 2010

Time... You Lost!


Time, the great healer, there you stand!

Like the warrior who lost the battle-

Unable to mend the broken soul

Oh! The pieces are crushed all way

With nothing left but imperfections

But I was meant to live with the odds

Though you took your precious time to seize

What a waste it has been, I knew it all the way!

 
Pic Courtesy - Deviantart.com

November 19, 2010

Life is Calling..!



Rain started pouring heavily, she couldn’t see anything clearly. It’s already dark and the rain was making the journey difficult. She pushed the accelerator. She was not sure whether it’s the rain or the tears in her eyes that is making her difficult to see. She wanted to be strong, but this journey was making it difficult. Even the rain was not showing any mercy. She loved rain with all its beauty and madness, but now even that was sardonic. She pushed the accelerator once more, this time she was calm as all she saw was never-ending darkness as the rain washed away all the emotions.


“Yeh tumhari meri baatein hamesha yuhi chalti rahein……..”

All her thoughts were on hold with the phone buzz. Who is calling at this time, she muttered while checking her phone, she thought she switched off her mob. Oh it’s Papa! She was not ready, to pick the phone, she knew he will get the change of voice as always. He was good at understanding her though this time he made a mistake by thinking that she will be fine.

Now she was thinking about her papa and how he single handedly managed to bring her up. She knew that she is letting her father down. This was not the way her life was supposed to end. She was going to marry someone who loved her, was going to take up a job in her dream city but who twisted her fate.

Life was calling her again, she cant go on with the thoughts of her papa, she turned her car and picked up the phone..

“Hi Papa…”

November 9, 2010

Musings of a Lost Mind..!



Lost friends, death of dear ones, staying in an unknown city missing the place I loved which was part of my life and what more…

A journey to leave everything behind..

But even that ended so fast reminding me that good things end too fast..

Was I worth it?

October 2, 2010

My Musketeers...


There is a numbness while writing this post, “Three Musketeers”, well that was my gang of three devils ready to do weirdest, funniest, adventures stuff, best people of my life always by me for anything and everything.  I lost V long back to cancer and R recently; i know  memories will always be there, but will not be replaced. The last SMS from R i received was more like a sign, “Hey watching you”. I still wait for your morning miss calls to wake me up.. though i know, there wont any, anymore...
Quite clueless I’m, I guess, now.  I will miss you a lot...



Oh! Scary life is, mocking at my fate;
As the mighty sun sets in the distant horizon;
Leaving me in solitude with the darkness;
Only to wake up every morning to see myself looking for sign;
Searching in every crowd hoping to see you back
Blaming the mighty for his cruelty; why me?
Unanswered questions and unheard prays;
Now it’s just me and my life
Wondering where to start again!