Turning The Time...

Time is ticking…
Poking at me for all the things I left undo,
For all those broken promises, for the broken resolutions,
For the thoughts and words unsaid, for the dreams shattered
For the people I lost & for the times I failed
Making me wonder why I always wanted a time turner.

Another year is coming to an end, and I wonder why I am really thinking about what I couldn’t do, though there were a thousand things that I did. Why we always want to go back when we have more years left to live. An year full of surprises and shocks, lots of tears and some joy, lot of first times and still learning a lot… and of course to break my silence about so many things, that people were asking for a long time. Like M told me, even I hope that “ I will get back to see the old Me”, even I am not liking the new Me.

One More Year Passes....

In glory you celebrate as I lost one more year of my life

Trying to go unnoticed, but you picked me up to tell the world

That you will be there behind me with those watchful eyes

As your kid is leaving your cocoon ready to fly.

I celebrated my b’day yesterday, trying to make it a very low key affair, though everyone new about it.

Words Are Not Enough..!

Every time I think about calling you,
Wondering, you have enough time to listen
Words were not enough, when the silence speaks

Every time I think, what if you were here
Only to realize that it’s just me and my thoughts
Words were not enough, to tell that I miss you

Every time I think, about the last time I saw you-
a farewell without good byes and good bye wishes
I should have known that, this is my last chance to speak

But words were not enough, as I was left numb
I had a million things to say, I had my secrets to share
But time was up, and it was time to go,
So I prayed for you & for the moments of a lifetime.

Random Expressions...!!!

She asked;

While walking across the road, if some one crush the rose flower you dropped, is it their fault?

And I just realized that I dropped it… Oh this is all my fault.

Damn it... I forgot that, it was my life...

Now no one was there to answer, I looked at her not knowing what to say

Nothing will make better, we broke the thread that kept us together.

She went the next day, and I didn’t heard from her for years, until yesterday

She called my up, to finally to say “it was our life”.

Moving with the Waves...!

She sat in sand watching the waves touching her feet; she could feel the cold water making her feel light .The cool breeze was easing the moments of solitude.
She looked at the distant horizon, tears blocked her sight. She knew he is there somewhere, though out of her sight. Back home, she curled herself against the pillow, so that no one hear her crying. She had learned the hard way that, it only makes her weak.

Between You and Me

Tears running down cheeks,

She cried until she saw him, smiling at her,

She knew its fine now, nothing can go wrong

He took her hand and she made her first step

That was years ago. Now when I walk with Pa slowly to his pace, hearing him telling about my childhood stories, I smiled wondering, things haven’t changed much. I am still that emotional, sensitive, stubborn person though I am not a chatterbox anymore. Pa was asking about my career, job and of course finally my marriage. I knew this was coming, but hearing from Pa was a different thing coz he never accepted that I have grown up and them suddenly he was talking about his daughters’ marriage. I saw that ease again in me that I was always comfortable talking to Pa about anything and everything, there was nothing to hide, he just knew everything.

Last some weeks I was stuck up with my work, having not enough time to talk to anyone. I heard my pals complaining, asking me to slow down. Lot of festivals passed without much celebration; even during diwali I surprised myself by separating myself from the crowd. I guess it was essential. Finally I was ready to give an answer to Pa. Amma was always a silent spectator; she knew she can’t influence me the way Pa do.

I haven’t really accepted the thing that I am getting old so I should start looking before “I get out of the market” in broker’s terms. But then I don’t have enough time and have to do a dozen things. Times ahead might be tough but surely interesting though in between I may bid farewell to Mumbai with memories for a life time and few people in mind, which I am sure, a part of my life.

Guys, I am back to blogging… now onwards I am sure that you can see me regular on your post and comments J

I know I have a lot to cover….

Forgotten Paths...

Those walks across the road

Holding hands and smiling at each other

Never cared of what the world thinks

It’s been years, or was it yesterday

But I cherish each moment of closeness

Though I wonder whether you really existed

Scared to believe that your are not there

Scared to accept that you will never come

Searching you in every soul I meet

And feeling blue for not finding the one like you

You just taught me how a friend should be

Or you just came coz you knew I needed a friend

Oh! I wish I had answers for every little thing you did

that I wont be left numb seeing your old diary.

I am not so regular these days in blog world, taking a break from everything, but just thought of posting this one which i wrote on one of those lazy days...

Moving with Time..!

Sipping a cup of coffee, sitting by the window side
Watching the world passing by, with laughter and fun,
Not seeing a single teary eye, I wonder,
Did they notice the lone girl standing next to window pane?
Or did they just left her to enjoy her solitude

She was thinking about you all the while,
Wishing you had come out of the veil
And take her back to your world
Even if that takes her life, coz
Time is moving, taking her along with it.

I have learned...! (2)

I have learned that ..... people will never understand you the way you want them to.

I have learned that ..... you shouldn’t expect much from others, even if its your dear ones.

I have learned that ..... smiling from your heart is a difficult task, but when u do, it spreads.

I have learned that ..... sometimes change is essential to make you more human.

I have learned that ..... life may not always give you a choice.

I have learned that ..... life sometimes gives you a second chance, but you may not be able to use it.

I have learned that ..... no matter how much time passes, some things never heal, sometimes it hurts more than you thought.

I have learned that ..... I should never allow anyone to be too close that it hurts.

I have learned that ..... there are people who love me more than their life.

I have learned that ..... people who will care for you during the hard times may be the ones whom you least expected.

I have learned that ..... the more you grow, the more you want to be a child.

I have learned that ..... some of my best moments in my life were as a child.

I have learned that ..... I love myself more than anything now.

I have learned that ..... life is more about doing the things you love than making compromises.

I have learned that ..... it’s those little surprises that make your day than big celebrations.

Its a New Dawn..

Away I am, away from you and the world
Away from those shattered dreams
Away from those half broken promises and words
Away from those memories that will never fade
Away from my problems and heartache’
Away from the life that I never lived.


Here I am in my world; it’s just me and god
Though you will be a silent spectator
You never let anyone take my life away from me
You never allowed anyone to crush my dreams
But alas! Now I don’t dream any more.


It’s a new dawn, beginning of a new day
Let dreams wait, let words wait
Let my actions speak, words are not enough
I am finally walking towards my life ready to face it again.

It s a new dawn, a new day, rather than roam around carefree, it’s great to see myself sticking to the principles I always believed in. Every second I live, I am just proud of some people who where there through thick and thin, just to make sure I am fine, but without your support papa, it would have been in vein. I always wonder how I would have been without you. Guess I should start believing in miracles, I know I just got lucky.

Against all the Odds

Days passed, seasons changed, clouds went,
Bringing back the sunshine, time is moving
And I was here all the while waiting
But you never noticed, you never realized,
You were too busy searching for your small boat,
While the ship was leaving the shore
Now I can’t see you, distance has blurred my eyes
Time is ticking; I need to move on, every one needs to;
By the time you find me, there won’t be anything left,
But ashes, only to be washed away in the next rain.

Before Final Fall..!

Finally its time for farewell
And give way to time.

I had stood there, victoriously with time
Without any fear, majestically with all the grace

But You, The One, who came yesterday-
can never take my place, though you will stay.

With me lie the memories of years-
Those golden days of childhood,

With all the freedom and liberty
The joy of unity and togetherness

And the feeling of being at home
You will be there reminded as a building
But I will always live to be known Home.

I dont think, i will be happy to see my moms house with its new look. Its like someone taking a part of your body and giving back in pieces.

Disclaimer : Pic is taken through google images

Memories..!

I wrote your name on sand,
But waves washed it away.
I wrote your name on paper
Someone tear it apart
I wrote your name in my arms,
Flames burned it up
I wrote your name in my heart
Death took it away
leaving the memories behind.

Another friendship day passed without making any fuss, but reminded me of you. Those conversations we had, sitting by sea, enjoying the waves, leaving the worries and the world behind, to be remembered for the rest of my life. There is no emotion, no pain and nothing left though I feel numb. Like you say, world is not really bothered to grieve. So life will go on...

You, My Life

Every day I wake up to your call,
Patiently trying to wake me up

Everyday I close my eyes
Seeing your good night messages

Everyday I start my day
Taking your wishes for a good day

Everyday you listen to my stories
Without a trace of irritation

Everyday you call me up
To be sure that I am fine

You have never asked for anything
You have never lost your temper

You have always accepted me as it is
You have always ignored my shortcomings

You have never stopped loving me
I wonder now, what if you were not there

What if I never got those messages?
What if you never called me up?

What if you never heard me out?
What if you never prayed for me?

Oh mine! I know its coz of you, I live,

That’s what makes you, My Life.

Bouquet of Happiness..!

Those flowers are fresh and green

With time, it will also fade away
But you will be remembered
As long as I take my breathe .
You may never know coz
Sometimes words are not enough.

What a beautiful way to end my day, I was with A and T, roaming around the city till sleep calls. It was supposed to end as just another day, but my best buddies made it special. I don’t need surprises to make my day, but then it made my day. I think it may not be an easy task to bid adieu to Mumbai, when the time finally comes. I have realized many times that the way to happiness is to spent time with your dear ones, not in getting more money and fame. When it comes to success & happiness I can’t count the number of degrees I have or the number of positions I got. It’s more about how many people I have met and how I made a difference.

Changing Seasons..!

World is so small! I am not making a statement here, I am just wondering, how we meet some people, we thought we wont meet for ages and then get surprised ending up asking “Hey its you”. Then to catch up with lot of things happening and updating about each others life. That’s a great feeling.

On the other day, my childhood mate V called me after a long time. I had almost forgotten that, he even exists in my friends list. It’s been years since we lost contact, great to get my friend back.

My best friend M is back in India, she always made sure, that distance and time won’t affect our relation. I thought I lost my good friend when she got married, I thought things wont be same after her marriage, but that was just a fear which never happened. She send me a gift, all the way from her place, and I can’t tell how much touched I was, not for the gift, but the reason behind sending it.

She is going to be a mother soon, though I didn’t really liked the idea of promoted as aunty so soon, but there is an excitement to see your childhood friend, to see in more matured and caring way, I know she will be a great mother.

Life is not going great, but can’t say its going bad. When I think I won’t be able to handle many things, life shows me that I can, though it may cost a lot. The irony is that I can see that I am becoming less emotional as each day passes. I know I can make my days great with cup of coffee in my hand and a book by my side, but that’s not life is about.. Even I started missing my devilish side.

I know life play the most unusual way, these days lot of good things are happening around that’s bringing a smile in my face.
Stupid me, I thought God is too busy listening to others.

As I Retrospect...

As another day ends with,
Memories of the bygone days of innocence,
Feeling the monsoon rain dripping down my face,
Missing those get-togethers of laughter and fun,
Looking at the gift send by my dear friend,
Listening to my favourite song,
Embracing the solitude of my new life.
I realize, finally the time has come-
to start my journey back to home.

Holding Me Close to Life..!

All I wanted to do that time was call him. When I heard his voice, I couldn’t tell anything, I was crying like a baby and I didn’t knew the reason. Like always my father was there listening, he didn’t ask me what happened? Nor he asked why are you crying? Nor he scolded me for acting so childish.

This is us and we were always like this. Whenever there was something I couldn’t handle, Papa was there holding me. I have seen people telling that you can never be friend with your father. But it was easy for me, no matter whatever it is, I used to tell him. I sometimes expected him to scold, to get angry, to be more rigid, to be stricter, but he was always calm. There were times I thought he won’t understand me, but he always understood, he used to understand things just by hearing my voice, my tone, it was more than enough. He broke family rules coz he thought its hurting his kids too much. He stands by us for what I and my brother believes and corrected us when we were wrong.

I still remember my first day of school; he sat beside me in the class, until he was sure that I will be fine alone. He had sleepless nights when I had exams, he also sit late till I finished my studies. He was the one who was more tensed than my mom when I went for my first dance competition and I saw tears in his eyes when I got the prize. He asked for my choice when I was joining college. He supported me and gone against family rules when I went for my higher studies. During placement time, when the first company came to campus, I was just giving a try, but when I called my father at night to tell the happy news, he immediately told “congrats, I knew you will crack” even before I opened my mouth. I didn’t know that I will, but he had full belief.

When I came to Mumbai, I didn’t want to stay, but my father knew that I will be fine, I will accept the new world like always. Whenever he was away, he made sure to call me everyday.
Now when I am not able to understand myself, a time I don’t expect anyone to understand me, he was there reassuring me. He was again giving me choices, and he was fine with what ever decision I take. I am still a kid for him; and I will always remain like that no matter how old I become.

My father never liked me crying, coz he wanted his girl to be strong to handle any emotions. I know I should be stronger, but I was glad that my papa was there, when I was totally clueless about taking emotional things. He was holding me one more step close to my life. I am always known to be a Papa’s gal and I am very proud about that.


I have taken the pic from here

The 4's..!

I was tagged by Mathew, and as nothing else came to my mind to write, I thought to take it up.
Gave chance to use my brains :)

Four places I have lived...

Trivandrum
Trivandrum always gave me the impression of the bygone era of royalty. I am proud to say that some of my best memories of my life stay with this place; I have spent a major part of my student career here. I have never seen anywhere else, the way people encourage you, if you have an interest in dance and music. The city has changed its look with more crowd, traffic and new buildings. But it will always remain my home.

Bangalore aka Bengaluru
I call this my second home, have seen the city even before it become an IT hub. Now I can say that its one of the most happening place in India (though the Bangalore traffic is horrible these days). I love Bangalore for its high energy, vibrant and welcoming spirit. Now that all my cousins are settled there, I have a thousand reasons to go back to the city again.

Hyderabad
I will remember Hyd for my MBA days, my last days of college life. Though its bit traditional, unlike other Metros, I still love the city, for a great reasons that it gave me some great friends I ever have. It is the city that tuned me as a person.

Mumbai.
Finally, my current home, I can’t say that I love the city, but it’s special for me for many reasons,. Guess I am slowly starting to accept the city as my own. Now I love the Monsoon here, I thought I will miss the monsoon rain until I saw the rain here. Just love the spirit of the people here….. too good.

Four TV shows Iove(d) to watch

Deciding this was bit difficult as I watch TV only for movies and songs. So I had a tough time selecting this one.

Fear Factor
This one I started watching due to my cousin’s pressure, but later even I started to enjoy it, it was great, got a chance to see how adventurous people can be. I have seen the version done Akshay Kumar, but like this one better.

The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Again, this is something I started watching coz I saw my mom interestingly watching an English show for the 1st time. It was great to know about people from different societies and countries sharing their experiences.

American Idol.
I am talking about the 1st versions, which become popular in India before all those reality bizarre. It showed some of the talented singers in English. Now sad to say that, its a kind of business than a healthy competition.

Tom & Jerry
This show is the number one on the list, coz this is something I started watching from school days and I still enjoy watching. There are lots of other cartoons, but this is something that makes me laugh like hell.

4 places I have been on Vacation

Coorg
I should say, I simply loved the place, for its greenery, for its beautiful coffee plantation, for those waterfalls. I was having this feeling that I am in Kerala, when I went there.

Assam
Another beautiful place in India, I think not much people have explored its beauty. Assam is more beautiful on rainy season, with all those tea plantation and forest, it gives an enchanting effect.

Dehradun
It’s a small city, but its very much developed in its own way. With a list of beautiful places side by side, trip to dehradun was memorable, loved the place for its beautiful mountains. Mussoorie is a place you should never miss in Dehradun.

Munnar
I love munnar for beautiful mountains, lakes, tea plantations and all the greenary, but specialy for its calmness.

Four of my favorite Food

Ottada
Yummyyyy….. I still remember my childhood days, and the hot ottada prepared by my granny. I still think no one can prepare it the way she did. Guess it has gone way for the junk foods, but that taste is always special.

Kappa & Mulaku Chammanthi
This also I have had only at my granny’s house, but it tastes better than any other food. The best combination I ever tried, though its so spicy that I end up drinking bottles of water.

Biriyani
I will specify that I love Kozhikodan Biriyani. Whenever I went to Calicut, this one have always attracted me with its aroma and taste. I think everyone who once had it, will totally agree with me.

Malabar Paratha
I don’t think I need to explain, how much keralites love this one. Though the best combination is with chicken curry and egg curry, I love this along with Cauliflower.

4 places I would rather be

Cherrapunji
Now, someone who loves rain should definitely visit this place na?
I have read one book on cherrapunji n I wanted to visit the place from that time onwards. Its very famous for its scenic beauty, though its still need to be explored more.

Netherlands
Its my personal favorite place, I have seen it a lot on pics and plan to go there once.

Paris
I have heard a lot about this one, known to the fashion destination. Someday I would love to see this place.

Budapest
No special reason, i was always attarcted by that time, it seems like it holds lot of mystery.

I wish... If I could list more than 4.

4 things I Hope to do before I die

To take my parents to Netherlands (like I told before, it happens to be my favorite place)

To Build a riverside home of my dreams.(I have this plan in mind for the last sometime now)

To perform dance in Khajuraho (I left dancing long back, so..! )

To write a book. (someday I will publishJ)

Four novels you wish you were reading for the first time

Fountain Head
A great classic of modern days.

Its not about the Bike : My journey back to life
A great book by Lance Armstrong. Its amazing to know how a normal human being can survive the adverse conditions. One of the best real life story on cancer.

My Temporary Son
It’s the true story based on author’s real life, how a small kid is changing their life. There lot of emotional touching moments in this book which I simply love.

Tuesdays with Morris
This is a book that I always keep with me, like a mentor. It has covered all aspects of life so well that you will never be bored by reading it. I have already read it countless times.

Four movies I see over and over

Gladiator
Love this picture for those dramatic and action sequences. Became a fan of Russell Crow I never got bored watching it again and again.

The Matrix
Everything was nice about the movie, the concept, the screenplay, action, screen presence. I still remember for sometime, it was the favorite of all my friends.

A walk to remember
It’s a simple movie with a simple story, one of my all time favorites. Of course! Not to forget those nice songs.

God Father
This is a movie that I watched with my brother for the 1st time, and like he said, it’s a great movie with some great acting. Never really knew about Al Pacino until I watched this one.

I think i was fair in writing this tag...
And this time i would definitly like to pass it to:

Dhanya
Arv
AllTalk
Mayz

I have learned...!

I have learned that…
Life goes on, no matter what happens, though it may change you some way or other.

I have learned that…
You will know the value of people in their absence.

I have learned that…
Friendship was easier than love.

I have learned that…
Expressing yourself is one of the most difficult things I am facing.

I have learned that
It needs lot of courage to say “I am sorry” , “I love you”, “ I miss you” and to really mean it.

I have learned that…
For the fear of hurting others, I have hurt myself.

I have learned that…
I need to love myself more.

I have learned that…
I have my true friends who stand by me, though I did hurt them.

I have learned that…
I wont be here to write this, if my friends were not there to hold me.

I have learned that..
Handling my career life was easier than my personal life.

I have learned that…
People may not understand your pain, unless they have their own experience.

I have learned that …
talking was always easy, but keeping silent is a difficult task..

I have learned that…
I cannot live without someone that if I have to choose, I would choose to close my eyes than keeping it open to see others.

That Stranger I love..!

Enthralling those moments we shared,
i thought it wil never end,
but for a moment of ignorance,
you made me a total stranger.

Here I am, like a kid in a crowd,
searching for a way,only to find dead ends.
I thought you will hold me, when I fall
but all I could see is a familiar face,
walking away from my view.
I wanted to share a million things,
but all i could hear was nothing but silence.

Finish the Lines....

Saw this in Arv's Blog... liked it so much that I tagged myself ... ofcourse with Arv's permission..Thank u :)

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss..... will never happen.

2. I am listening to... O Sathi re (Omkara)

3. I talk... very less.

4. I love... my family & friends …

5. My best friends... are part of my life

6. My first real kiss... is yet to come.

7. Love is... what I am scared to accept, but unable to deny.

8. Marriage is... something that I am dread of, that I am running away from it everyday, almost every minute of my life.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... that I will be fine, with the passing time.

10. I'll always... try to be a better person with more expressions and less emotions

11. The last time I really cried was because... I missed someone.

12. My cell phone ... badly needs a break.

13. When I wake up in the morning... I think about you, and the number of days I have left with you.

14. Before I go to bed... I tell good night to you, and thank god for holding my hand, when I was falling

15. Right now I am thinking about... How I was, and how I am now, not able to relate

16. Babies are... best of Gods creation, who told angels are there only in heaven!

17. I miss... those days, when we smiled for no reason, laughed for every PJ, roam around carefree, enjoying every fights, listening to your stories … realizing it will never come again.

18. Today I... feel lost, hoping I will finally find my way.

19. Tomorrow I will be... somewhere; I know I don’t want to think about that tomorrow.

20. I really want to be... here with you pursuing the things that I love.

On a Rainy Day...!

I just love this monsoon ....this weather, this place and my friends.

After a long time I was with T & A, chatting about everything and nothing, sipping a cup of coffee on a rainy day. I missed their company a lot, not that we were not seeing, but when ever we met I was so pre-occupied that I hated to spoil their mood too with my changing moods that I just preferred to stay alone. So this time it was like union after a long time, I just love them for what they are to me….


Its an awesome feeling, like I am back to life again, after weeks of uncertainty, finally I have an answer, and I am not regretting though I am scared to death. You cant every day break the rules that you follow, I didn’t break, I just didn’t allow others to take my life away from me. I am still feeling bad that I had to take a stand, I still feel bad that I might have hurt my father, I am just hoping that he will understand and will stand by what I believe and not the years old tradition and my relatives. He was more than happy when I send him bouquet on Father’s Day… I know he least expected that from me.... (But then i did made him smile..)


I am more delighted that finally monsoon is here to take away my tears; I don’t want to cry, not anymore. I am happier that I am can finally keep my feet down without fear, of expressing myself. I may have hurt some of my dear ones directly or indirectly, but thank God, they do understand me more than I thought……
Do I need to tell you one more reason why I love this monsoon rain…


Disclaimer : I took the pic from here .. http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3228/2813614786_2d9f8ede51.jpg

Monsoon Rain..!!!

I love the way rain hits earth with all its power, even poets have described its beauty.

monsoon has arrived in kerala, but here in Mumbai, I am still waiting. Monsoon rain always gives me nostalgic feeling, taking me back to my child hood,to best days of my life, leaving all tensions and worries. It always washed them away .

Grandpa’s house, monsoon hitting the sand, yelling out of the house along with cousins, just to soak myself , playing with water, till I get that first cough. Returning from school, hands put outside the bus window, raindrops starting to drip, feeling the coldness of water, later splashing at everyone sitting near me.

Uniform fully dirty with mud, face “with an I didn’t do anything look” hearing all the scolding of mom, still playing with that muddy water, overhearing moms complains “ ee nasham pidicha mazha”

First time feeling lost in life, walking alone, enjoying the solitude, , no one might have seen water driping down my face, the rain washed away everything, not giving a trace. Did I tell you why I love rain so much.

Now finally here, far away from the Monsoon and its beauty, I am waiting, who told I don’t love anyone, cant u see I’m madly in love with rain..!

Disclaimer : All the pics uploaded here, i got through google image search, so if any pic wants to be removed, please mail me.